omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
