I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
