I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
