Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
