I think im going to throw up on grandma
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
