No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
