god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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