I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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