guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
