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also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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