So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
bring money and cleavage
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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