And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
