First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
