I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
