think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
