That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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