Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize