Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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