That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
