Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize