We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize