why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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