When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
