quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
