This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize