Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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