turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he's gonorrhea incarnate
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
