Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
