at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
