Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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