Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
