At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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