hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
