I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
