At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
