I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
