in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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