I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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