so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
