i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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