I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
