Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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