3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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