What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
