I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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