Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize