So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
