he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
