I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
