Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you never un-have a 4some
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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