you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize