so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize