You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
