I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
