I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
