I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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