we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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