Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he shaved USA in his pubs
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
