Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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