Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
