No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize