just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize