It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
