Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
