she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
