I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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