Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
