Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
