How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
