not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
