i just had sex bonerless
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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