now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
