When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you made out with another girl for some wings
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
