I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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