I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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