i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
