man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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