Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
