Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
