How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
